Friday, October 1, 2010

I'm missing something here

 
So the other night I was watching a certain show that I will not mention because it will subtract 10 point from my overall manliness score, but since my score's pretty low anyways...The other night we were watching Glee and it was entirely based on the timeless works of one said Britney Spears.  When they did the "Hit me Baby" song, I realized that I did not have a recollection of that song ever happening.  But since its on TV, and if its on TV it must be real, I asked Reyna about it.  Reyna informed me that it came out while we were on our missions in Austria, and that we kind of missed the Britney hype.  (Sidebar: While I missed the Innocent Britney days, I did not miss the Crazy Britney days, so I think that it was a win in the end).  For those not knowing, when you're on a mission, you sacrifice 2 years to teaching others about Jesus Christ, and one of those sacrifices is that you miss out on a few 'societal' items
- No TV, movies, videos, dvds, beta tapes (unless your a bad person like me and have an American member tape the super bowl both years and then hoard all your American food stuffs and gorge yourself)
- No reading the newspaper (although in Austria it's all in German, so that would make sense since my German sucks.  Just ask the Austrians) 
- Some other stuff that on the Not-To-Do Rules
This got me thinking about what else happened from July 1998 to July 2000 in the world?  Here are a few of the things that I found when I googled 1999 on my iPhone while driving home from work...


1998: Bill Clinton impeachment & scandal: while it had started before I went on the mish, the good stuff I missed first hand.  But every Austrian wanted to talk about Clinton and not the Book of Mormon because the old timers wanted to trash America and it was as good a reason as anything else.  But funny side to the story is that the Austrian president (at the same time as Clinton) hooked up with his secretary, divorced his wife, and then married said secretary.  Really people?  At least our president was decent enough to lie about it, then finally admit it and act sorry, and then let his wife run for president just to show her he was sorry.
2 US Embassies were bombed: if we only knew that those were a precursor to 9/11.  
I just have to drink milk?
Price is Right aired episode 5000: The price is wrong ... Bob

Home Run chase between Sammy Sosa and Mark McGuire: I actually saw a few games before I left for my mission in June - Sammy hit 3 home runs in 2 games that I attended, and McGuire just missed hitting a home run against the White Sox and the Sox fans booed their own player because he caught the ball.  But does anyone really care now that we know about the 'roids?  I mean, hooray, Seth can dunk a basketball and hang on the rim over people.  But the basketball is a mini ball, the rim is only 8' high, and by people I mean my 5 year old.  Its not hard to be awesome when you cheat.  Take it from me, I'm a professional. 

America bombed Iraq: AGAIN.  Face it Iraq, we've been f'ing up your country for a long time, so don't get all cocky because we say we're leaving.  We probably won't be gone long, so try not to get comfortable. 

Ginger Spice left the Spice Girls: If only I'd have been there.  I might have been able to keep them together, and then we could have found out what they really really want. 

1999:
Columbine - for most people this is probably one of those things where you never forget where you were when you heard about it...it changed school security/safety forever.  I found out awhile after when an American Time magazine was delivered to a member's house.  I was at the Sperrer's apartment in Gmunden, Austria (look it up, its gorgeous) and she told me that I should probably check it out.

The NBA went on strike: Didn't care then, don't care now.  Is the NBA still around, or has it been replaced the the National Crazy-Tattooed Oversized & Overpaid Crybaby Association?



The Euro debuted: This one I knew about because it meant that my Austrian Schillings were going to be obsolete.  But they didn't get rid of all the other money at the same time, so I had to learn 2 exchange rates so I could figure out if I was getting a good deal or not on Lederhosen.   

Kennedy died in a plane crash: that's why I don't fly crazy little planes.  Hear me Timmy, I'm not flying with you.  So stop asking

Y2K: Nothing actually happened.  Except that I went to a snowboard contest in Vienna until the clock struck 12.  You didn't want me to be stuck in my apartment in case the world ended did you? 

2000: Playstation came out, Gore vs. Bush, Elian Gonzalez drama, Microsoft anti-trust case, and some other stuff.  But then I ran out of steam and gave up

And that's what I got for you.  The only other thing that I missed was your mom.  BOOM.  What'd you miss?